Tag Archives: life

7 Things

The idea of “7 Things” is to write seven things that your readers may not know about you and then “tag” other bloggers to do the same. Unfortunately, I don’t know enough bloggers to do that, so if you read this and decide to participate, please let me know so I can pretend that I put you up to this. Here goes.

1. When I was in pre-school, I was convinced I was not a human being. The reason? We were read an environmental-themed book which showed “human beings destroying animals’ habitats”. Logic: human beings practise deforestation, I have never even thought about deforesting anything, ergo I am not a human being.

2. In the past week, I have been eaten by lift doors over a dozen times and almost lost my manhood to a scaffolding pole at a church clean-up

3. Russians don’t have middle names but rather patronymics so my full name is Alexander Petrovich Sheko (which is to say, “Alexander Sheko, son of Peter”). However, when I was young, I decided to rebel against the patriarchal system (you’re welcome, ladies) and called myself AlexanderTatianovich (Alexander, son of Tania).

4. At the age of three (or so), I had nightmares about a dragon chasing me around the backyard. Not just any dragon: the St George dragon. And I don’t mean the generic ectothermic creature of legend, but the dragon on the St George Bank logo. (Ironic twist: Last year I briefly worked for a sales company representing St George Bank)

5. I sing bass but because I have never had proper singing training, my range depends on the temperature, time of day and how long I have been singing. Usually the lowest note I can reach is D below the stave but it can go up to F if I’ve strained my voice. I once sang an A below the stave.

6. My parents made me learn the piano. At various points in time, I despised it and hated them for not letting me quit. I now have an Associate Diploma in piano, am being paid to play for a school musical (Cabaret) and enjoy playing every single day. I consider it a great blessing and one of the most rewarding aspects of my life.

7. A fundamental element of Russian culture is forcing children who have barely learned to speak to commit to memory large portions of poetry and recite them in front of large groups of people. At some point in my childhood, it was decided that it would be a good for my education (despite the fact I spoke very little Russian) for me to participate in this cultural treat and I learned some verses of a poem to recite at the annual Russian Culture Day. Unfortunately, I was sent on stage with a girl (half my age and height) who recited her poetry first. It never occured to me to adjust the microphone stand and I could not understand why several dozen Russians were laughing raucously at my attempt to combine poetry recitation with limbo.

If you are reading this and have a blog, please give it a shot of your own (and tell me so I can have a read!). It’s good fun.

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20 Things I Learned in 2008

1. Never SMS, drink and pose for photos while standing perilously close to an unfilled hole containing a pointy metal foundation post

2. The sun rises in the west in Queensland

3. Skipping across a school oval with another guy singing “I’ve Just Seen A Face” may cause impressions of homosexuality

4. The addition of Jagermeister does not improve the taste of Red Bull

5. It is preferable not to question the arguments of Irish Catholic dramatists when one’s English teacher is an Irish Catholic

6. People don’t eat leaves and the only safe thing to do is pray

7. When organising a birthday get-together at a licensed venue, inform the underage guests that should they choose to exit the premises once security has arrived for the night, it is extremely unlikely that they will be able to come back in

8. The introduction of “structured celebratory activities” by the school does not decrease the probability of traditional muck-up day happenings

9. Electric cooktops are cheaper for a reason

10. When walking to a location to which everybody else is driving, make sure to ascertain exactly where it is and, failing that, try not to walk in the wrong direction once you get to the wrong place

11. Never question the logic of a mad epistemology teacher

12. Bringing a Maoist propaganda book to class as a joke may cause some of the international students to believe that you too are a communist

13. Accordions are heavy but fun

14. Sleeping on couches significantly shorter than one’s height can be quite the uncomfortable experience

15. Never stand between an adolescent girl and a Stephanie Meyer book

16. There is an inverse correlation between the amount of mockery levelled at one’s music teacher and one’s chances of being selected for Music Captain

17. Holding a chair/music stand/etc… and walking nowhere in particular with a determined look on one’s face gives the impression one is actually contributing to cleanup

18. The “Toast-O-Matic” at the University Open Day was just a bunch of Science students with toasters behind a panel of flashing lights and random gauges

19. Never watch seven straight hours of David Lynch films, especially late at night

20. If you are expecting to see an MA-rated movie and sit down in a cinema filled with children, you have probably made a wrong turn at some point

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