Tag Archives: twilight

20 Things I Learned in 2008

1. Never SMS, drink and pose for photos while standing perilously close to an unfilled hole containing a pointy metal foundation post

2. The sun rises in the west in Queensland

3. Skipping across a school oval with another guy singing “I’ve Just Seen A Face” may cause impressions of homosexuality

4. The addition of Jagermeister does not improve the taste of Red Bull

5. It is preferable not to question the arguments of Irish Catholic dramatists when one’s English teacher is an Irish Catholic

6. People don’t eat leaves and the only safe thing to do is pray

7. When organising a birthday get-together at a licensed venue, inform the underage guests that should they choose to exit the premises once security has arrived for the night, it is extremely unlikely that they will be able to come back in

8. The introduction of “structured celebratory activities” by the school does not decrease the probability of traditional muck-up day happenings

9. Electric cooktops are cheaper for a reason

10. When walking to a location to which everybody else is driving, make sure to ascertain exactly where it is and, failing that, try not to walk in the wrong direction once you get to the wrong place

11. Never question the logic of a mad epistemology teacher

12. Bringing a Maoist propaganda book to class as a joke may cause some of the international students to believe that you too are a communist

13. Accordions are heavy but fun

14. Sleeping on couches significantly shorter than one’s height can be quite the uncomfortable experience

15. Never stand between an adolescent girl and a Stephanie Meyer book

16. There is an inverse correlation between the amount of mockery levelled at one’s music teacher and one’s chances of being selected for Music Captain

17. Holding a chair/music stand/etc… and walking nowhere in particular with a determined look on one’s face gives the impression one is actually contributing to cleanup

18. The “Toast-O-Matic” at the University Open Day was just a bunch of Science students with toasters behind a panel of flashing lights and random gauges

19. Never watch seven straight hours of David Lynch films, especially late at night

20. If you are expecting to see an MA-rated movie and sit down in a cinema filled with children, you have probably made a wrong turn at some point


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